A little more sugar, but still some spinach
Soft launching a new container that's the same container just different, kind of, maybe...? A little bit more sugar. Still some spinach.
I’ve been spiralling lately.
In one of those funks I get in sometimes where I don’t know what I’m doing. It sucks.
I’m a person who craves control, clarity, and a purpose. Sometimes I lose my way.
That’s the way it’s supposed to be, though—an integral part of the creative process. Sometimes we get lost. Even though I understand this all intellectually, it still feels very unnerving.
I’m pivoting. Walking away from yoga—my career and identity for over a decade—to follow my life-long (well, since first grade) dream of becoming an author.
I really have a knack for picking those stable, high-paying, easy-peasy career paths, eh?
When I’m not kicking myself for delaying this dream for as long as I have, or kicking myself for kicking myself because I should be gentle with myself, or resting because I’m trying to be kind to myself, or actually sitting down to work on my manuscript, I’m fretting about what to do with my Substack. Since that’s really what matters most in the world these days…
As I’ve been thinking about what the essence of this space is, what I want it to be, what it’s always been, what I want to write about forever and ever, I keep coming back to women thriving. Women can’t thrive unless we’re well. I want to share wellbeing with you. I want you to feel well when you read my words. I want you to be inspired to be well in your own life. I want you to live well, whatever that means to you. Most of all, I want to see you thrive. Because I believe deeply in my bones that when women are well, when women are thriving, the world will be a better place.
But here’s the thing. The content world we live in rewards prescriptive advice and wellbeing can’t be prescribed. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to thriving, despite what “culture” may try to t(s)ell you. You can be encouraged and inspired, but you can’t take a pill. I can tell you what I think, but you have to figure out wellbeing for you on your own. You can’t buy your way into wellbeing. It’s an active choice you have to make for yourself…every day. And that’s hard.
The difference between yoga and massage is that in yoga you have to show up to do the work. In massage, you show up to lay down on a table and have someone else do all the hard work for you. Yoga is more transformative but less people go to yoga. No one actually wants to do the work. Plus women don’t really have the time.
I know you don’t have a lot of time. I know you probably don’t really want to do hard work. You’re here to relax. To escape. To feel better. I’ll do the best I can to serve you up just enough sugar so the truth doesn’t taste super, super terrible. Like that green smoothie in the picture up above—amazing what a little mint and cacao can do to some spinach 😀.
To soft-launch this re-launch, I want to offer up some words of wisdom from the women I’ve interviewed so far in my Women + Wellbeing interview series in answer to the question, what is wellbeing? But before we get there, it’s important for me to share what I think wellbeing is because I too often rely on others’ opinions to shape my own.
Wellbeing to me is…
Feeling energized, excited and connected to love, wonder and purpose.
And wellbeing to the women I’ve interviewed so far is…
“…having a foundation that you can always return to. If you veer off of it, you come back to a strong base founded in solid feelings of worthiness, self-compassion, self-empathy, and self-love. I don't mean that in the trendy way that is being sold with things right now, but I mean it in a very sincere, ‘I am worthy of being here’ and, ‘I have self-worth just by being alive’ way.”
“I think it changes monthly, weekly. Wellbeing now feels like a capacity to be adaptive and to pivot at a moment's notice according to what is needed. Whether that's an outward need in my family—what does my kid need, does he need me to step in or does he need me to step the hell out? Or a need with myself inwardly—what do I need and can I respect it enough to deliver? That's really what wellbeing means right now to me.”
“I don't sleep easily, so wellbeing for me is when I've had a good night’s sleep. It's not something I think about a lot because I'm well most of the time.”
“The first thing that comes to mind is honesty. Wellbeing is a state of knowing who you are, what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and how one treats oneself as the vehicle for doing that and meeting relationships. The primary principle that will lead to that is honesty. In other words, cut the bullshit.”
“There are a lot of misconceptions about what wellness is. Wellness is a holistic and individualistic experience and also communal. It's much bigger than our physical health, or our mental health, or our spirituality. It's all of these things in combination and how they're all integrated together. It's unique to each person, but we also heal in a collective. Wellness is everything, all things, and also just our thing.”
“I really think wellbeing comes back to when you’re actually well in your body, meaning that you feel good, you have energy, you’re able to perform your activities of daily living and work, and do all the other things that make life worth living. This whole idea of ‘wellness’ has become about striving to do other things when we’re already so busy in our lives. Right now wellbeing is something that we all need. Wellness is something that we’re being sold. To me, they’re very different things. Wellbeing is really coming back to rediscovering who we are after life happens and being able to live from that place.”
“To me, I think wellness is being able to look at your life and wake up in the morning knowing there are going to be parts of your day that you’re really looking forward to. I think that it means going to sleep at night and feeling, ‘I like where I am in my life.’ It does not mean you’re going to like when your kids spill the chia seeds. I’m still freaking cleaning up from last week. I’m never gonna get them all. But it means that overall, I like what’s happening every day. I feel well in my life. That is wellness to me—being able to look around and say, ‘I like my life.’
“The idea of being well is an experience. It's an experience that is multi-dimensional, not just looking at one layer. We can't define our wellbeing or wellness by just looking at our heart or our respiratory rate. It's really the state of integration and alignment in which there are elements of peace and joy and I would even say strength. There is a fortitude when I affirm my sense of being well, that I am here, and I deserve to be here.”
I’d love to hear yours thoughts about what wellbeing means to you.
The TL;DR
Wellbeing is…
Worthiness
Joy
Contentment
Adaptability
Energy
Vitality
Community
Integration
Stability
Strength
Honesty
Love
Purpose
Wonder
Alignment
…and whatever else you feel it is for you.
This space is transforming into a space where I can offer some of that…alongside a little dose of the healthy, bitter truth (like spinach).
I hope you have a well week!
Reasons to Celebrate
Sunday, May 3
National Garden Meditation Day
National Lemonade Day
World Laughter Day
National Small Business Week
Pet Appreciation Week
Monday, May 4
Star Wars Day
Children’s Book Week
Screen-Free Week
Great Lakes Awareness Day
Petite and Proud Day
Tuesday, May 5
Revenge of the 5th
Cinco de Mayo
International Midwives Day
Poem On Your Pillow Day
Wednesday, May 6
National Nurses Day
Thursday, May 7
Make a Book Day
Friday, May 8
Child Care Provider Day
National Give Someone A Cupcake Day
National Military Spouse Appreciation Day
National Public Gardens Day
White Lotus Day
Saturday, May 9
Lost Sock Memorial Day
National Babysitter Day
National Mini Golf Day
National Sleepover Day
With gratitude,
Ashley
Excellent collection of wisdom ... you're well on your way to next things. <3
looking forward to hearing more about your pivot and this next adventure! Wellbeing to me is having the freedom to make choices just like that. to pivot. to do what feeds your soul. to wake up excited about a part of your day.